An update...finally!

Well, first we had my parents visiting and so I didn’t have the free time to blog. Then, we had computer difficulties last week, along with Reagan being out of the country for work. I tried to get on to write at the library, but they had the blog website blocked, so I apologize for such a long delay. I will say that for the rest of the semester, I imagine it will be hard for me to get on here every day as I had initially hoped. I am learning why SHSU recommends you take 9 hours as a full-time student; I am taking 12 hours and it is a bit overwhelming when a bunch of due dates hits all at once. Spring break is coming up soon, and I cannot wait!

I did want to get on here and fill you in on some things. First of all, I want to pay a little tribute to John & Hallie – today would have been their 10-month birthday. Already a little emotional about that, the tears did start to flow in church as the pastor talked about the meaning of a kiss – to show love and affection. We both got to give John a kiss on the forehead just moments before he passed away. Everyone always told us to ‘give Hallie some sugar’ – I would have loved to do that, but I did not get to kiss my precious Hallie until she had passed away. We were always so worried about infections with her (and rightfully so), and I knew I would just be sick if I thought that I ever gave her a germ. Her immune system was so weak because of her condition, and her skin was so porous, it just seemed we shouldn’t do more than hold her hand and stroke her hair. I remember once she passed away, I just kissed her precious forehead and hands over and over…something I had wanted to do for so long. I miss my little angels so much. I continue to think of them and be filled with such pride for how strong they were here on Earth.

Enough sad talk – now for some exciting news. Our meeting with the genetic counselor a few weeks ago went as well as could be expected. Basically, they think it is most likely that Hallie had one of those rare “1 in a million” type conditions, and there is no reason to think that future children would have the same problem. He said he would be more concerned about obstetric problems, and when I talked to my OB, she said that she thought the majority of our problems and why I delivered so prematurely was because I was carrying twins. When we do the frozen embryos, we would only do them one at a time. It decreases our likelihood of one actually implanting, but it eliminates the chance for us to have another high risk twin pregnancy in the future. We are very excited about the possibility of using those embryos.
The timeline in our mind is that our adoption contract runs out in August. We have several things going on in July in Illinois, and so we are thinking of trying the frozen embryo transfer in August. I have decided instead of pushing to finish all of my classes by the end of summer, I will slow down and take two this summer, leaving one to complete my certificate program in the fall. This will leave me a fairly relaxed schedule in the fall and we can try the embryos. Then, if they do not work, I can think about getting a job in the school district.
On top of all of that, we are hoping to get a call about a baby through the adoption agency. We do not see this as a one or the other thing. Our hope is to have an adopted child and a biological child and just whatever God gives us – the only change would be if we got a call to adopt twins, and then we may reconsider just how many kids we think we should be raising and can provide adequately for with me staying at home the first five years. We have great excitement about the embryos, but we also are very hopeful that an adoption will happen. We just know we have so much love to give, and we pray God will let us share it with children in our home.

God has also been talking a lot to me lately – it’s interesting to me how I am getting so much reading through the ‘boring’ part of the Bible in the laws. Also, Reagan and I are in an incredibly awesome Lifegroup at our church, and each Sunday has been giving messages that really strike home (the past two weeks have been talking about integrity). I’m running out of time, and so I’d like to give the core messages from all of it – to live in such close communion with God through constant prayer and time reading His Word that He is where I turn first when problems arise…and to obey all that He is telling me in all areas of my life. More later on all of that!