Hi Everyone,
I just wanted to put a quick post on here today. A year ago today we found out that Hallie Reagan and Sara Elizabeth were going to be Hallie Sara and John Andrew! :) Both the doctor and ultrasound tech had both thought we were having two girls, but the ultrasound on March 24th showed that we were having a boy and a girl. It was such an amazing, happy time and the pictures we got that day are still some of my favorites. It is so nice to have memories that are all positive. This is also about the time that they were becoming really active - we also saw in that ultrasound John and Hallie kicking each other - it was the cutest thing to see them pushing off on each other. There was nothing I loved more than feeling them kick...although after about 30 minutes, I did start to get a little sore. ;) We have a precious picture from that day of Hallie punching me - they had so much spirit and that became even more apparent once they got out. Both of them were wiggle worms...I love those two so much!! God is so amazing!
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Thursday, March 18, 2010
God's Awesome Word! :)
I have a chronological Bible that Reagan and I are reading this year, and so the verses are a little jumbled at places – especially the Old Testament prophets and histories. Today, I was looking up one of my favorite passages in Isaiah, and after reading it, I flipped to the next page and it was a passage in Kings where the king is praising God for saving him from the grave – he declares he was saved to praise the Lord, and so that’s what I want to do right now by sharing what I read in Isaiah.
Isaiah 30: 15 – 26 says, (in my NIV Bible, this passage is in a section of Scripture labeled “Woe to the Obstinate Nation”)
This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says:
“In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it.
You said, ‘No, we will flee on horses.’ Therefore, you will flee! You said, ‘We will ride off on swift horses.’ Therefore your pursuers will be swift! A thousand will flee at the threat of one; at the threat of five, you will all flee away, till you are left like a flagstaff on a mountaintop, like a banner on a hill.”
Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you; He rises to show you compassion. For the LORD is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for Him!
O people of Zion, who live in Jerusalem, you will weep no more. How gracious He will be when you cry for help! As soon as He hears, He will answer you. Although the LORD gives you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, your teachers will be hidden no more; with your own eyes you will see them. Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you saying, This is the way; walk in it.” Then you will defile your idols overlaid with silver and your images covered with gold; you will throw them away like a menstrual cloth and say to them, “Away with you!”
He will also send you rain for the seed you sow in the ground, and the food that comes from the land will be rich and plentiful. In that day your cattle will graze in broad meadows. The oxen and donkeys that work the soil will eat fodder and mash, spread out with fork and shovel. In the day of great slaughter when the towers fall, streams of water will flow on every high mountain and every lofty hill. The moon will shine like the sun, and the sunlight will be seven times brighter, like the light of seven full days, when the LORD binds up the bruises of His people and heals the wounds He inflicted.
HOW AWESOME IS THAT!! For someone who has been reading the Old Testament and is humbled of how much like the Israelites I am, this Scripture just spoke so loudly of God’s love for His people, including me – and including all of you!! Clearly, Reagan and I are very much in a period of waiting right now with our plans for children – this Scripture spoke to that. Rarely does one passage really seem to hit EVERY area that I’m working on with God, but this one does it, and I hope it speaks to at least one thing going on in your lives today. We have such a compassionate Father who is just waiting for us all to turn to Him and seek Him as our strength to get through whatever we are facing. And when we do so, we will hear that small voice directing us. How AWESOME is that! When we do this, He will be so great that whatever we’ve put in front of him will be like garbage to us.
I just had this discussion with one of my best friends this week – I don’t think we have an “If I do this, then He’ll do that” God, but I do believe that if I am obedient, if I repent of my sins and take my refuge in Him alone, then I will see His blessings all around me – all the ‘junk’ gives me blinders, makes me choose things that are just simply less than His plans, and the part of all this that just amazes me is that He never stops waiting for me to wait solely on Him…when I make that decision, He is there with love and healing. Our God is such an AWESOME GOD!!
Isaiah 30: 15 – 26 says, (in my NIV Bible, this passage is in a section of Scripture labeled “Woe to the Obstinate Nation”)
This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says:
“In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it.
You said, ‘No, we will flee on horses.’ Therefore, you will flee! You said, ‘We will ride off on swift horses.’ Therefore your pursuers will be swift! A thousand will flee at the threat of one; at the threat of five, you will all flee away, till you are left like a flagstaff on a mountaintop, like a banner on a hill.”
Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you; He rises to show you compassion. For the LORD is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for Him!
O people of Zion, who live in Jerusalem, you will weep no more. How gracious He will be when you cry for help! As soon as He hears, He will answer you. Although the LORD gives you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, your teachers will be hidden no more; with your own eyes you will see them. Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you saying, This is the way; walk in it.” Then you will defile your idols overlaid with silver and your images covered with gold; you will throw them away like a menstrual cloth and say to them, “Away with you!”
He will also send you rain for the seed you sow in the ground, and the food that comes from the land will be rich and plentiful. In that day your cattle will graze in broad meadows. The oxen and donkeys that work the soil will eat fodder and mash, spread out with fork and shovel. In the day of great slaughter when the towers fall, streams of water will flow on every high mountain and every lofty hill. The moon will shine like the sun, and the sunlight will be seven times brighter, like the light of seven full days, when the LORD binds up the bruises of His people and heals the wounds He inflicted.
HOW AWESOME IS THAT!! For someone who has been reading the Old Testament and is humbled of how much like the Israelites I am, this Scripture just spoke so loudly of God’s love for His people, including me – and including all of you!! Clearly, Reagan and I are very much in a period of waiting right now with our plans for children – this Scripture spoke to that. Rarely does one passage really seem to hit EVERY area that I’m working on with God, but this one does it, and I hope it speaks to at least one thing going on in your lives today. We have such a compassionate Father who is just waiting for us all to turn to Him and seek Him as our strength to get through whatever we are facing. And when we do so, we will hear that small voice directing us. How AWESOME is that! When we do this, He will be so great that whatever we’ve put in front of him will be like garbage to us.
I just had this discussion with one of my best friends this week – I don’t think we have an “If I do this, then He’ll do that” God, but I do believe that if I am obedient, if I repent of my sins and take my refuge in Him alone, then I will see His blessings all around me – all the ‘junk’ gives me blinders, makes me choose things that are just simply less than His plans, and the part of all this that just amazes me is that He never stops waiting for me to wait solely on Him…when I make that decision, He is there with love and healing. Our God is such an AWESOME GOD!!
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Thanks so much for praying!! Keep it up!
Well, I just want to thank everyone who prayed for me today because those prayers worked! Dr. Roach said that I was definitely not experiencing menopause and that I didn't have any cysts - my two big concerns, so these are huge praises! Unfortunately I also didn't have any estrogen. She put me on estrogen patches for 2 weeks, and hopefully, when I go back, they will be doing their job and we can try to get my body regulated again. Please pray that the patches do their trick - she also mentioned concern that I might have some scarring in my uterus if my estrogen levels had been low ever since the babies (I think it was more a gradual shutdown over the 4 months with Hallie, but please pray that everything is healthy to try again).
The 3rd answer to prayer in all of this is that I have felt a growing impatience that we were needing to wait to try our embryos in August - for so many reasons, this makes sense, but both Reagan and I want to know if we'll be able to have a baby. This definitely answers those prayers as we get to be more actively waiting by getting my body ready, and I'm excited about a step forward. Pray, pray, pray - that all of this will work out. Reagan and I pray daily and we are hoping that we are listening some while we talk with God and that we're following His will.
I want to say that this continues to all be IN ADDITION to adopting. There are so many birthmoms listed with our agency that mention wanting an adoptive family with other children, so we hope the birthmom that is right for us is out there and will understand that us having a child biologically would just be one more thing we offer her, and that in no way would this lessen the love we have for her child. Please continue praying for the adoption.
I fully believe this year will end and we will look back on the coming months and be like WOW - how GREAT is our God!! Please continue praying for the many ways God may grow our family so that you can be a part of His work in our lives!!
--
Now it's been awhile since I've shared a big Spiritual 'aha' but Reagan and I were reading Philemon last night (finished Proverbs and thought we'd start with the smallest book in the Bible). ;) Well, who would have thought such a profound revelation would come from such a random selection, BUT GOD knew where we needed to be. There is a verse where Paul talks about how sharing his faith has helped him develop a greater understanding of the knowledge of Christ - both Reagan and I realized that we had fallen off our diligence of sharing our faith. When I was daily sharing God's work in Hallie's life, MY relationship with the Lord was closer than ever. Lately, school has been taking priority - even when I read my Bible and devotionals, if I'm not sharing what God is teaching me, it affects my growth too. Reagan used to teach men's group in TN, and he has felt something major missing without that experience of sharing.
I'm telling you all that as one more thing to pray for our Christian walks, but I also share it because God didn't intend those words to just be applicable to Reagan and myself - ALL of us will be richly blessed as we share our faith with others - not only will we help them grow, but we will experience greater understanding and growth ourselves - how AWESOME is that!! God wants us as close to Him as is possible - hope that makes you feel extra loved today. :)
The 3rd answer to prayer in all of this is that I have felt a growing impatience that we were needing to wait to try our embryos in August - for so many reasons, this makes sense, but both Reagan and I want to know if we'll be able to have a baby. This definitely answers those prayers as we get to be more actively waiting by getting my body ready, and I'm excited about a step forward. Pray, pray, pray - that all of this will work out. Reagan and I pray daily and we are hoping that we are listening some while we talk with God and that we're following His will.
I want to say that this continues to all be IN ADDITION to adopting. There are so many birthmoms listed with our agency that mention wanting an adoptive family with other children, so we hope the birthmom that is right for us is out there and will understand that us having a child biologically would just be one more thing we offer her, and that in no way would this lessen the love we have for her child. Please continue praying for the adoption.
I fully believe this year will end and we will look back on the coming months and be like WOW - how GREAT is our God!! Please continue praying for the many ways God may grow our family so that you can be a part of His work in our lives!!
--
Now it's been awhile since I've shared a big Spiritual 'aha' but Reagan and I were reading Philemon last night (finished Proverbs and thought we'd start with the smallest book in the Bible). ;) Well, who would have thought such a profound revelation would come from such a random selection, BUT GOD knew where we needed to be. There is a verse where Paul talks about how sharing his faith has helped him develop a greater understanding of the knowledge of Christ - both Reagan and I realized that we had fallen off our diligence of sharing our faith. When I was daily sharing God's work in Hallie's life, MY relationship with the Lord was closer than ever. Lately, school has been taking priority - even when I read my Bible and devotionals, if I'm not sharing what God is teaching me, it affects my growth too. Reagan used to teach men's group in TN, and he has felt something major missing without that experience of sharing.
I'm telling you all that as one more thing to pray for our Christian walks, but I also share it because God didn't intend those words to just be applicable to Reagan and myself - ALL of us will be richly blessed as we share our faith with others - not only will we help them grow, but we will experience greater understanding and growth ourselves - how AWESOME is that!! God wants us as close to Him as is possible - hope that makes you feel extra loved today. :)
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Spring break, spring break, wherefore art thou, Spring break?
My Spring break is just around the corner and I can’t wait! No big travel plans, and I still will have a lot of projects for my classes to work on, but I won’t have to go anywhere and that’ll be nice. A week of evenings at home with Reagan sounds pretty peaceful to me. Classes have been going well and I’ve been thankful for the distraction they provide.
I want to wait to write more tomorrow. I am meeting with my IVF doctor at 2 p.m. I did some lab tests yesterday, and we’re going to talk about what will be next for me. Reagan and I wish we could try the embryos right now and find out if they are going to work or not or what we’re doing for that…but it just makes sense to wait until August. Tomorrow will yield a lot more information whether my body is even going to be able to do the embryos. And I still start each day praying that we’ll get a phone call that our birthmom has picked us. We just are ready to know what God has for us next. Maybe it’s because it’s spring down here and you can’t go outside without seeing some mom in our neighborhood pushing a stroller. Visions of the double stroller I was hoping to be pushing feel like sugar plums dancing in my head, and I find that my three-layered wall that holds back my John & Hallie tears is down to just two layers these days. I’ve had a weekly sobbing fit twice since I last posted.
Now, I really am not all boo-hoo girl – I’m enjoying the fact that I can actually hit the golf ball in golf class with Reagan, I’m enjoying dating my husband – our movie dates and peaceful, quiet nights with our flannel blankies, I’m interested in what I’m learning in my classes, and I’m enjoying the volunteering that has come along with them. I am extraordinarily blessed with wonderful friends – whether it’s walks with my friend Gretchen, talks with my friends Kendra and Sara, trading e-mails with a whole lotta amazing women in Tennessee, going to Bible studies down here and having the BEST Life group one could ever envision, I have no shortage of people making me smile each day. And yet, I still feel something missing and I have to believe that is God saying there are kids still to come for Reagan and I.
My friend, Kendra, told me today to be optimistic about my appt. tomorrow, and then I read my devotional which said to pray with faith, not fear. I love nothing more than when I get the same message in multiple ways – it’s like God is fully aware that I am thick-headed and need the repetition. So in my daily Bible reading, I got to read Him telling Joshua three times to be ‘bold and courageous’ and ‘not to be afraid because the Lord is with him.’ Got it, God – You’re in control, not me….and I praise You, Lord, for that!
I want to wait to write more tomorrow. I am meeting with my IVF doctor at 2 p.m. I did some lab tests yesterday, and we’re going to talk about what will be next for me. Reagan and I wish we could try the embryos right now and find out if they are going to work or not or what we’re doing for that…but it just makes sense to wait until August. Tomorrow will yield a lot more information whether my body is even going to be able to do the embryos. And I still start each day praying that we’ll get a phone call that our birthmom has picked us. We just are ready to know what God has for us next. Maybe it’s because it’s spring down here and you can’t go outside without seeing some mom in our neighborhood pushing a stroller. Visions of the double stroller I was hoping to be pushing feel like sugar plums dancing in my head, and I find that my three-layered wall that holds back my John & Hallie tears is down to just two layers these days. I’ve had a weekly sobbing fit twice since I last posted.
Now, I really am not all boo-hoo girl – I’m enjoying the fact that I can actually hit the golf ball in golf class with Reagan, I’m enjoying dating my husband – our movie dates and peaceful, quiet nights with our flannel blankies, I’m interested in what I’m learning in my classes, and I’m enjoying the volunteering that has come along with them. I am extraordinarily blessed with wonderful friends – whether it’s walks with my friend Gretchen, talks with my friends Kendra and Sara, trading e-mails with a whole lotta amazing women in Tennessee, going to Bible studies down here and having the BEST Life group one could ever envision, I have no shortage of people making me smile each day. And yet, I still feel something missing and I have to believe that is God saying there are kids still to come for Reagan and I.
My friend, Kendra, told me today to be optimistic about my appt. tomorrow, and then I read my devotional which said to pray with faith, not fear. I love nothing more than when I get the same message in multiple ways – it’s like God is fully aware that I am thick-headed and need the repetition. So in my daily Bible reading, I got to read Him telling Joshua three times to be ‘bold and courageous’ and ‘not to be afraid because the Lord is with him.’ Got it, God – You’re in control, not me….and I praise You, Lord, for that!
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